You Become the Sixth: How Your Circle Shapes Your Success in Sports and Life

You’ve probably heard the saying,

“You are the average of the five people you spend the most time with.”

But have you ever stopped to think about what that really means — especially as an athlete?

Every conversation, every training partner, every friend or teammate around you shapes the way you think, act, and push yourself. Whether you realize it or not, your environment is constantly programming your standards.

In water polo, and in life, your circle defines your level.
If you surround yourself with players who train harder than you — you rise.
If you’re surrounded by people who make excuses — you start to do the same.

This rule isn’t motivational fluff. It’s psychology. And understanding it can completely transform your results — both in the pool and outside it.

1. The Law of Proximity: You Absorb What You’re Exposed To

Your brain is built to adapt to its environment.
When you spend time with people who have strong discipline, focus, and consistency — those habits slowly become normal for you.

If your circle trains early, eats well, and pushes through discomfort, your mind learns that’s the standard. You don’t need to “force motivation” — it becomes part of your identity.

But the opposite is also true.
If your environment tolerates laziness, negativity, or distraction, you unconsciously lower your standards to fit in.

Humans are social creatures. We naturally mirror the behaviors of the people closest to us — even their tone, energy, and posture.

That’s why your five people matter more than your goals.
They decide whether those goals survive or die out.

2. The Circle of Elevation vs. The Circle of Limitation

Let’s break down two examples that every athlete will recognize:

Circle A — The Elevator Circle

• Teammates who talk about progress, workouts, nutrition, and growth

• Friends who challenge your decisions and hold you accountable

• Coaches who push you past your comfort zone

• People who see potential in you that you don’t yet see

This circle is uncomfortable — but it makes you grow.

Circle B — The Limiting Circle

• Friends who laugh at your goals

• Teammates who quit early in practice

• People who gossip instead of work

• Those who make excuses for every failure

This circle feels easier — but it slowly drains your potential.

Both circles are contagious. You choose which one you belong to.

3. The Mirror Effect: Energy Always Spreads

Have you noticed how spending time with one lazy or negative person can ruin your motivation for a whole day?

That’s not your imagination — that’s energy transfer.

Studies in psychology show that emotions, discipline, and even confidence are socially contagious. When someone near you is highly driven, your brain mirrors that energy. You begin to take action faster.

In training environments like water polo, this is critical. The moment one athlete raises intensity, everyone follows. The opposite happens too — if one player stops taking things seriously, the energy drops instantly.

Your job as an athlete is to protect your energy ecosystem. You can’t grow in an environment that drains what you’re building.

4. How to Audit Your Circle (Without Judging Anyone)

You don’t have to cut people out or act superior.
But you do have to be honest about how people affect you.

Here’s a simple exercise:

1. List your five closest people.
   Who do you spend the most time talking to, texting, training with, or listening to?

2. Ask these questions:

   • Do they make me feel motivated or drained?

   • Do they push me to grow or justify staying the same?

   • Do they celebrate my wins or compete with me secretly?

   • Do they talk about people or ideas?

3. Now score each relationship from 1–10 based on how much it supports your goals.

When you look at that list, you’ll see the truth.
And that truth is a mirror of your future.

If your circle averages a 6, your results will too.
If your circle averages a 9, success becomes inevitable.

5. How to Build a Better Circle

You don’t need to find “perfect people.” You need aligned people.
Here’s how to build that kind of circle:

1. Join environments of growth.

If you train in a space where everyone is striving for something, you’ll naturally rise with them. That could be a club, an academy, or even an online community.

2. Add value first.

Don’t just look for what people can give you — look for what you can give them. The best athletes lift others up. That’s how you attract other people who do the same.

3. Be visible.

Post your goals, share your work ethic, and show consistency. The right people will find you. The wrong ones will filter out naturally.

4. Respect your mentors.

Having one coach, mentor, or teacher who’s ahead of you can accelerate your growth faster than years of random advice.

5. Set higher conversations.

Talk about habits, routines, systems, and progress — not gossip or drama.

Remember: small talk creates small circles. Growth talk creates greatness.

6. The “Sixth Person” Rule in Water Polo

Let’s apply this rule directly to water polo.

If you train with five players who:

• Always arrive early

• Always give their best effort

• Always ask for feedback

• Always analyze game footage

• Always keep composure

You will become the sixth player who does all that naturally.

If you train with five players who:

• Skip warmups

• Argue with coaches

• Joke around during drills

• Don’t track progress

You’ll become the sixth one too — whether you want it or not.

That’s how powerful your environment is.
You don’t need to change your talent — just your surroundings.

7. You Also Influence Others

This principle works both ways.
While others shape you, you also shape them.

Every athlete has a responsibility to elevate their circle — not just benefit from it.

When you show discipline, others will notice.
When you’re consistent, it gives permission to others to do the same.

Leadership isn’t about titles or age. It’s about energy.
Be the person who raises standards without saying a word.

That’s how teams transform. That’s how winning cultures are built.

8. The Danger of “Average” Environments

The biggest trap for athletes isn’t bad people — it’s average people.
People who are “good enough,” but not great.

They train, but not at full focus.
They care, but not consistently.
They want to win, but not sacrifice.

They look fine from the outside — but staying around them slowly dulls your edge.

You start settling. You start thinking “I’m doing enough.”

That’s when progress dies.

To grow, you need to constantly feel slightly behind someone better. That’s what keeps your standards alive.

9. Virtual Circles: Who You Follow Matters

In today’s world, your “five people” don’t even have to be physical.
They can be digital.

The podcasts you listen to, the YouTube videos you watch, and the Instagram accounts you follow all count as part of your circle.

So ask yourself:
Are you following creators who educate and inspire you — or ones who distract you?

Because your feed is your environment, too.
Clean it up. Curate it with purpose.
Make it your digital locker room for growth.

10. How to Know You’re in the Right Circle

You’ll know you’re surrounded by the right people when:

• You feel challenged, not drained.

• You can talk about goals openly without feeling weird.

• People correct you because they care.

• Winning together feels better than being “right.”

That’s when you’ve found your people.

Conclusion: Choose Your Future Circle, Not Just Your Current One

You don’t need to cut ties or burn bridges. You just need to elevate proximity.

If your dream is to play collegiate water polo, build your business, or reach any high level — start by choosing your circle carefully.

Because success is never a solo game.
It’s an environmental product.

Surround yourself with five focused, consistent, and ambitious people — and you’ll become the sixth one automatically.

Final Quote to Remember

“If you hang around five disciplined people, you’ll become the sixth.
If you hang around five complainers, you’ll become the sixth.
Choose wisely — your circle is your future.”